On My Way

I had a lightning bolt realization last night. Damon and I had a conversation again about religion and god. About my years and years of fence sitting and my fear based indecision, in which he caring-ly stated, "Ann, I don't know how you can do this to yourself week after week. You owe it to yourself to make a choice one way or the other. Be rid of this guilt and fear." 
I cried and cried and then I was mad at him for lovingly speaking the truth that was so hard to hear. But then.....something happened...something switched inside me and I had a strong crazy craving for knowledge and the raw hard truth. No matter what it was, I want to know.

I am no longer afraid. I am starting my quest, on my own. God will not make this choice for me, nor anyone else. I don't know where I'm going, but I'm on my way.

"It is far better to grasp the universe as it really is than to persist in delusion, however satisfying and reassuring. The truth may be puzzling. It may take some work to grapple with. It may be counterintuitive. It may contradict deeply held prejudices. It may not be consonant with what we desperately want to be true. But our preferences do not determine what’s true.” - Carl Sagan