Lucy's Kindergarten Registration

Lucy when she was 9 months old.

Today was Kindergarten registration. There has been many shed tears by me the last couple of days over this. I don't know if I am ready for Lucy to head off to school next fall.

Maybe by then I will be?

Maybe seeing her adorable face light up in excitement to be a school girl will make everything okay in my heart. She is so excited.

I know I will adjust just like I did when Kandus went off to Kindergarten, but couldn't she wait another year or maybe two? Couldn't they all wait?

I remember when she was just a baby. It seemed like I had forever until she was old enough to go to school. It went by too fast...way too fast.

The other day Lucy said to me "Mom, when Deacon is the last one to go to school you will be alone...Will you be sad?"

I didn't tell her this, but the answer is yes. Right now it is anyway. Because that means they all will be growing up and won't need me as much.

Don't we all love to be needed by those we love?

Will they still love me as much when they are grown? Will they still want to be with me?

I hope that when change comes I will be ready to embrace with open arms. That I will be able to smile at their growing and changing ways.

And as for my role as a mom...that won't ever change. It is who I am and always will be. They'll always be mine.

I can remember my mom saying, as she does from time to time, "I've loved every stage in my life. I love getting older and I love going gray." She is amazing and wonderful to me and I want to be just like that. 
Mom you're right.
It is far better to embrace change than to fight it.

But today...embracing is oh so hard to do.

To my children: Don't grow up too fast, okay?